Saturday, June 30
> 5 am faster come!
I speak to the people in London everyday, not just in London actually, i call people in Paris, in Tokyo, in Norway, in every different part of the world and im really curious how the place they live in looks like and how they actually look like.
I speak to a few same people everyday, very chirpy friendly voices, and im so curious to know how they look like! Maybe im talking to a really cute guy over the other end of the line. HAHAHHA you'll never know right?!
I wanna go London and say HELLO THIS IS AMBER WHO YOU SPEAK TO ALMOST EVERYDAY!
Sorry, this is so very random because at 4.50am there's really nothing to do and im waiting for 5am to watch tv. Crazy or CRAZY?!
I met the Leonard and Alvyn, the two new botaks at our favourite supper place after work just now. Always hearing the same old army stories, but meeting up with them made me very very happy! Having prata at Spize made me even happier!!
GMETHSS gathering later on, i cant wait! So damn long since we last met up, lotsa catching up to do!
Im so sorry i wasted your time if you've read up till here cos im just wasting my time. 3 more mins to 5am!
I love work this week cos i always chop chop curry pok finish my work on time, so i dont have to do OT, dont have to leave the office at 2am, dont have to miss my HongKong drama on SCV.
Yay! Its 5 now.
More updates in time to come. Happening weekend this week!
I speak to the people in London everyday, not just in London actually, i call people in Paris, in Tokyo, in Norway, in every different part of the world and im really curious how the place they live in looks like and how they actually look like.
I speak to a few same people everyday, very chirpy friendly voices, and im so curious to know how they look like! Maybe im talking to a really cute guy over the other end of the line. HAHAHHA you'll never know right?!
I wanna go London and say HELLO THIS IS AMBER WHO YOU SPEAK TO ALMOST EVERYDAY!
Sorry, this is so very random because at 4.50am there's really nothing to do and im waiting for 5am to watch tv. Crazy or CRAZY?!
I met the Leonard and Alvyn, the two new botaks at our favourite supper place after work just now. Always hearing the same old army stories, but meeting up with them made me very very happy! Having prata at Spize made me even happier!!
GMETHSS gathering later on, i cant wait! So damn long since we last met up, lotsa catching up to do!
Im so sorry i wasted your time if you've read up till here cos im just wasting my time. 3 more mins to 5am!
I love work this week cos i always chop chop curry pok finish my work on time, so i dont have to do OT, dont have to leave the office at 2am, dont have to miss my HongKong drama on SCV.
Yay! Its 5 now.
More updates in time to come. Happening weekend this week!
sealed-with-a-kiss < 4:48:00 am
___________________________________________
Tuesday, June 26
> who's that stupid girl that made things end up this way.
I made many wrong move in life, but i always try to live with my decision and be happy. This particular decision was made more than a year back, but im still pretty upset over it.
He was mine! He was part of my fairy tale story. I was the luckiest girl on earth and everyone was jealous because we were in love.
But ultimately, i still choose to go, i chose to leave him and i didnt regret even when all my friends said i was crazy and stupid. He was like the best thing that God ever given to me, the best bestowed from above.
But i left, despite hurting him and myself. I didnt give him a second chance even when he sadly asked. I left, knowing that i made him cry and i didnt even turn back.
How could i possibly made him feel so down, when he was the light of my gloomy days. How could i possibly leave him, when he tried to make me stay.
But i still did, and now i regret. I shouldnt have been such a perfectionist. He was so close, so close to being my perfect boyfriend yet i still want more. And now he had moved on, happily in love with his current girlfriend, look who finally turned back and wished all that happened never did.
Was it really a mistake made?
I dont know.
All i know is that im no longer the happiest and luckiest girl on earth.
I made many wrong move in life, but i always try to live with my decision and be happy. This particular decision was made more than a year back, but im still pretty upset over it.
He was mine! He was part of my fairy tale story. I was the luckiest girl on earth and everyone was jealous because we were in love.
But ultimately, i still choose to go, i chose to leave him and i didnt regret even when all my friends said i was crazy and stupid. He was like the best thing that God ever given to me, the best bestowed from above.
But i left, despite hurting him and myself. I didnt give him a second chance even when he sadly asked. I left, knowing that i made him cry and i didnt even turn back.
How could i possibly made him feel so down, when he was the light of my gloomy days. How could i possibly leave him, when he tried to make me stay.
But i still did, and now i regret. I shouldnt have been such a perfectionist. He was so close, so close to being my perfect boyfriend yet i still want more. And now he had moved on, happily in love with his current girlfriend, look who finally turned back and wished all that happened never did.
Was it really a mistake made?
I dont know.
All i know is that im no longer the happiest and luckiest girl on earth.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 1:25:00 am
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Sunday, June 24
> Some random pictures...
Ive been procrastinating a lot. Last week i was supposed to get browned with Jeffrey at Sentosa but it started pouring so we met up for food. Today, i wanted to wake up early to bask myself but i got so lazy i slept till 5pm.
My face pales really quick and i so hated it. Next week i must really stop being such a procrastinator and get my ass down to the swimming pool for some vitamins.
And have i told you? I hate Sundays.
Ive been procrastinating a lot. Last week i was supposed to get browned with Jeffrey at Sentosa but it started pouring so we met up for food. Today, i wanted to wake up early to bask myself but i got so lazy i slept till 5pm.
My face pales really quick and i so hated it. Next week i must really stop being such a procrastinator and get my ass down to the swimming pool for some vitamins.
And have i told you? I hate Sundays.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 5:38:00 pm
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Thursday, June 21
> DOs and DONTs.
Its so weird how i cant get to sleep right now when i was feeling so sleepy at work earlier on.
You know, one thing that really irritates me is when people ask me questions at the wrong time. Just like how irritated i would feel talking to anybody the moment i wake up.
I really appreciate you guys for asking about me, about my work. Im not trying to be all cocky and all now, but i would really appreciate it even more if you people stop asking me about it.
Im not someone who talks about work all the time. As a matter of fact, i hate talking about it when im at home. Because home is home and the last thing i wanna remember when im at home and all relaxed is work.
Everytime i see the question "how's work?" i get so pissed and my mood goes all the way down.
Give me a break man, stop reminding me how i feel about work when im at home or things like that because i really dont wanna talk about it anymore.
Sometimes, when i feel like bitching about it, or mere complaining to let things off, i will start the topic. So if i dont, please please dont start it.
And stop asking or telling me things like "seriously your working hours is very unhealthy, have you ever thought of quitting?" or "if you dont like it there, then quit la" or "look for a job with better working hours".
Do i look like some stupid moron who doesnt think properly before making any decisions? Other than impulsive ones, which apparently doesnt apply to my career over here, of cos ive thought it through damn bloody seriously.
I love my working hours cos im not a day person. I love the experience im gaining now because its a damn good stepping stone or long term career to have.
Though ive been damn depressed and stressed up recently, but tell me, which good career doesnt start with stress? Who doesnt feel stress learning and doing something totally new? Which crazy fresh gradudate wont feel stress upon their first job?
Im not someone who can handle stress really well, but give me some time and everything would turn out just fine. Work these days had been smooth sailing, and thats because im getting more used to it, and its good.
So dear friends, stop bugging me with such questions, i really dont wanna be reminded of work when im not at One Raffles Quay.
But i still love you all the same.
Its so weird how i cant get to sleep right now when i was feeling so sleepy at work earlier on.
You know, one thing that really irritates me is when people ask me questions at the wrong time. Just like how irritated i would feel talking to anybody the moment i wake up.
I really appreciate you guys for asking about me, about my work. Im not trying to be all cocky and all now, but i would really appreciate it even more if you people stop asking me about it.
Im not someone who talks about work all the time. As a matter of fact, i hate talking about it when im at home. Because home is home and the last thing i wanna remember when im at home and all relaxed is work.
Everytime i see the question "how's work?" i get so pissed and my mood goes all the way down.
Give me a break man, stop reminding me how i feel about work when im at home or things like that because i really dont wanna talk about it anymore.
Sometimes, when i feel like bitching about it, or mere complaining to let things off, i will start the topic. So if i dont, please please dont start it.
And stop asking or telling me things like "seriously your working hours is very unhealthy, have you ever thought of quitting?" or "if you dont like it there, then quit la" or "look for a job with better working hours".
Do i look like some stupid moron who doesnt think properly before making any decisions? Other than impulsive ones, which apparently doesnt apply to my career over here, of cos ive thought it through damn bloody seriously.
I love my working hours cos im not a day person. I love the experience im gaining now because its a damn good stepping stone or long term career to have.
Though ive been damn depressed and stressed up recently, but tell me, which good career doesnt start with stress? Who doesnt feel stress learning and doing something totally new? Which crazy fresh gradudate wont feel stress upon their first job?
Im not someone who can handle stress really well, but give me some time and everything would turn out just fine. Work these days had been smooth sailing, and thats because im getting more used to it, and its good.
So dear friends, stop bugging me with such questions, i really dont wanna be reminded of work when im not at One Raffles Quay.
But i still love you all the same.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 4:02:00 am
___________________________________________
Sunday, June 17
> Im one big bad friend to have.
I think im a terrible bad friend.
I forgot to wish any of my friends who was born in June a very Happy Birthday when they all remembered to wish me at 12 sharp.
Someone please slap me?!
I was so busy with work that i usually cant remember the dates nor do i have the time to even use my handphone.
Im so so so terribly sorry dear(s)!
A very very belated birthday to Jinli, Alfred, QQ, MeiQi, Yihao and a very advanced birthday to JingPing, Eunice, Kenny and Joshua Kho.
Im so very sorry! Ive a been terrible friend i know.
My memory is so failing me these days. How?
I think im a terrible bad friend.
I forgot to wish any of my friends who was born in June a very Happy Birthday when they all remembered to wish me at 12 sharp.
Someone please slap me?!
I was so busy with work that i usually cant remember the dates nor do i have the time to even use my handphone.
Im so so so terribly sorry dear(s)!
A very very belated birthday to Jinli, Alfred, QQ, MeiQi, Yihao and a very advanced birthday to JingPing, Eunice, Kenny and Joshua Kho.
Im so very sorry! Ive a been terrible friend i know.
My memory is so failing me these days. How?
sealed-with-a-kiss < 1:59:00 am
___________________________________________
Thursday, June 14
> Here we go again...
FYI, you might just wanna bear with me for a few moments over these very depressing posts these days. There is seriously nothing that lights up my day recently because everything seems so blue to me.
What else can i be referring to? Go figure.
The only assurance i have that im not alone are my friends who messages me all the time asking about me, trying to ask me out cos most of them are enlisting soon. I really appreciate your kind gestures but im too freaking busy to even spend some ME time or with my family.
I was just talking to Yuxiang a while ago, my close friend back in GMETHSS days. We havent been contacting much since we graduated from there and one sentence he said really made my day.
Despite living in our own world for 3 years without much contact, he actually still know me pretty well. I was just sulking to him about all the stress at work and he surprisingly said "by nature you're not someone that can really handle stress".
He knows me well man! Because most of my friends think that im strong natured and can do big things. Whenever i tell them that its too stressful for me, all they said was "im sure you can do it." Not much really knows im just a barbecued marshmellow. And that coming from a friend i havent seen for 3 years, really really made me smile.
There's so many things i wanna say, but i'll just bottle it up inside. Whats the point of whining so much when at the end of it all i still gotta bite my lips and endure?
I hate bringing personal problems to work and i hate it even more when i bring work problems back home. I cant get to sleep now and its already 4am in the morning. Life's too tough for a girl like me, can someone please watch my back?
FYI, you might just wanna bear with me for a few moments over these very depressing posts these days. There is seriously nothing that lights up my day recently because everything seems so blue to me.
What else can i be referring to? Go figure.
The only assurance i have that im not alone are my friends who messages me all the time asking about me, trying to ask me out cos most of them are enlisting soon. I really appreciate your kind gestures but im too freaking busy to even spend some ME time or with my family.
I was just talking to Yuxiang a while ago, my close friend back in GMETHSS days. We havent been contacting much since we graduated from there and one sentence he said really made my day.
Despite living in our own world for 3 years without much contact, he actually still know me pretty well. I was just sulking to him about all the stress at work and he surprisingly said "by nature you're not someone that can really handle stress".
He knows me well man! Because most of my friends think that im strong natured and can do big things. Whenever i tell them that its too stressful for me, all they said was "im sure you can do it." Not much really knows im just a barbecued marshmellow. And that coming from a friend i havent seen for 3 years, really really made me smile.
There's so many things i wanna say, but i'll just bottle it up inside. Whats the point of whining so much when at the end of it all i still gotta bite my lips and endure?
I hate bringing personal problems to work and i hate it even more when i bring work problems back home. I cant get to sleep now and its already 4am in the morning. Life's too tough for a girl like me, can someone please watch my back?
sealed-with-a-kiss < 3:46:00 am
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Monday, June 11
> Dont go...please dont go...
You wont wanna know how upset i felt upon learning that Jacob and Jun Hao may have to be transferred over to Changi Buusiness Park. You totally have no idea how confused i am.
Oh dear, what am i gonna do without them at ORQ? They are my dinner kakis, my friday night after work party friends, my pillar of strength at work.
Please, please dont go over to Changi. I promise i will love my job even more if you guys were to stay here.
For now, im going to prepare for work.
You wont wanna know how upset i felt upon learning that Jacob and Jun Hao may have to be transferred over to Changi Buusiness Park. You totally have no idea how confused i am.
Oh dear, what am i gonna do without them at ORQ? They are my dinner kakis, my friday night after work party friends, my pillar of strength at work.
Please, please dont go over to Changi. I promise i will love my job even more if you guys were to stay here.
For now, im going to prepare for work.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 1:12:00 pm
___________________________________________
Sunday, June 10
> Who says retail therapy works wonders?
Home sweet home after shopping with Tyrell + mahjong with his friends.
Yes, im working towards my tai-tai life. HAHA
I spent a bomb today buying whatever that i see (well, almost all) because i badly needed a retail therapy. But after spending hundreds in a few hours, i dont feel happy at all.
How come some girls feel so happy after shopping but i still feel the same? I dont even feel excited over it.
Im probably not the kinda typical girl you see all the time on the road.
Yesterday, i left my office at about 2.30am. And you guessed it right, i was the last to leave in my team. Everyone left at about 1.30 latest. My dinner kakis (namely Jacob, Jun Hao and Vance) went over to Zouk for their team gathering, so i met Patrick (an intern in CS, ORL) and had desserts at Swensens in town.
My gawd! We waited close to an hour before our food comes. BAD BAD SERVICE MAN.
I miss my friends whom i havent met for a long long time ever since i started work.
Not my supper gang because i meet them all the time, but the sad sad thing is they are gonna enlist soon. SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I remember feeling damn emo last year when Raymond enlisted, now i feel the same. Luckily im working till late in the night everyday.
I miss Jeffrey too. We havent caught any movies at Princess and then have supper at Macs, neither have we been visiting JB nor go rollerblading, we didnt even have dinner at 85 nor go shopping in town, dont even mention about having cakes at Changing Appetites nor Secret Recipe man!
I think i need to get a tann soon. Am losing my tann and i dont like it. But first, i need to go for facial.
Wah lau, time time, i need more time!
Home sweet home after shopping with Tyrell + mahjong with his friends.
Yes, im working towards my tai-tai life. HAHA
I spent a bomb today buying whatever that i see (well, almost all) because i badly needed a retail therapy. But after spending hundreds in a few hours, i dont feel happy at all.
How come some girls feel so happy after shopping but i still feel the same? I dont even feel excited over it.
Im probably not the kinda typical girl you see all the time on the road.
Yesterday, i left my office at about 2.30am. And you guessed it right, i was the last to leave in my team. Everyone left at about 1.30 latest. My dinner kakis (namely Jacob, Jun Hao and Vance) went over to Zouk for their team gathering, so i met Patrick (an intern in CS, ORL) and had desserts at Swensens in town.
My gawd! We waited close to an hour before our food comes. BAD BAD SERVICE MAN.
I miss my friends whom i havent met for a long long time ever since i started work.
Not my supper gang because i meet them all the time, but the sad sad thing is they are gonna enlist soon. SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I remember feeling damn emo last year when Raymond enlisted, now i feel the same. Luckily im working till late in the night everyday.
I miss Jeffrey too. We havent caught any movies at Princess and then have supper at Macs, neither have we been visiting JB nor go rollerblading, we didnt even have dinner at 85 nor go shopping in town, dont even mention about having cakes at Changing Appetites nor Secret Recipe man!
I think i need to get a tann soon. Am losing my tann and i dont like it. But first, i need to go for facial.
Wah lau, time time, i need more time!
sealed-with-a-kiss < 4:47:00 am
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Tuesday, June 5
> sorrows of a twenty year old
I havent cried so badly for a long long time and i just kept weeping and weeping uncontrollably.
I cant imagine i actually cried due to stress from work. And i actually suppressed and force back my tears since 5pm till 3am where i finally managed to knock off. (though i did tear a little when i saw Jacob and Jun Hao and dont ask me why i did)
I cried the moment i stepped into the study room till dear Ebony came over and asked me to carry her with the very concern look in her eyes, i just couldnt help but to cry even more. I carried her to my lap and hug her while crying even more and she kept turning her head back to look at me and lick my tears from my cheeks.
And that made me cry even harder.
Im a strong bunny remember? I cannot cry so easily. I must be strong and tough and take whatever shits that come my way. I cannot admit defeat so easily. Its not even a month at work so i cannot be so weak.
But i just cant do that.
For now, i just wanna cry.
I havent cried so badly for a long long time and i just kept weeping and weeping uncontrollably.
I cant imagine i actually cried due to stress from work. And i actually suppressed and force back my tears since 5pm till 3am where i finally managed to knock off. (though i did tear a little when i saw Jacob and Jun Hao and dont ask me why i did)
I cried the moment i stepped into the study room till dear Ebony came over and asked me to carry her with the very concern look in her eyes, i just couldnt help but to cry even more. I carried her to my lap and hug her while crying even more and she kept turning her head back to look at me and lick my tears from my cheeks.
And that made me cry even harder.
Im a strong bunny remember? I cannot cry so easily. I must be strong and tough and take whatever shits that come my way. I cannot admit defeat so easily. Its not even a month at work so i cannot be so weak.
But i just cant do that.
For now, i just wanna cry.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 3:28:00 am
___________________________________________
Saturday, June 2
> Striking a balance?
People always say that in life, there must be a balance between work and play, or study and play. But i cant help to keep thinking, how?
How is it possible to strike a balance between the two, when there are 5 weekdays and 2 weekends per week. It just doesnt make sense, does it? I work for 5 days into the wee hours (though i start work mid noon) and i reach home feeling like a living dead most of the time. During the weekends, i feel so much like staying home to rejuvenate but the weekends are so short that i have to sacrifice my rest for play.
Its not fair! We should have a balance! 5 weekdays and 5 weekends. Thats what i call a balance man!!
I woke up not too long ago after going to bed nearly 8am this morning. There was a "mini party" at my place last night after work with my colleagues. 7 of us in the reading room playing mahjong and talking crap. Fun though!
Dinner at Jumbo seafood restaurant with my team peeps. Shiok!
Oh btw, if there's anyone who is really really keen to work at CS aka Credit Suisse, please drop me a mail @ amberlinruoxuan@hotmail.com and i'll be more than glad to refer you in. But please, only for the suitable and keen candidates.
People always say that in life, there must be a balance between work and play, or study and play. But i cant help to keep thinking, how?
How is it possible to strike a balance between the two, when there are 5 weekdays and 2 weekends per week. It just doesnt make sense, does it? I work for 5 days into the wee hours (though i start work mid noon) and i reach home feeling like a living dead most of the time. During the weekends, i feel so much like staying home to rejuvenate but the weekends are so short that i have to sacrifice my rest for play.
Its not fair! We should have a balance! 5 weekdays and 5 weekends. Thats what i call a balance man!!
I woke up not too long ago after going to bed nearly 8am this morning. There was a "mini party" at my place last night after work with my colleagues. 7 of us in the reading room playing mahjong and talking crap. Fun though!
Dinner at Jumbo seafood restaurant with my team peeps. Shiok!
Oh btw, if there's anyone who is really really keen to work at CS aka Credit Suisse, please drop me a mail @ amberlinruoxuan@hotmail.com and i'll be more than glad to refer you in. But please, only for the suitable and keen candidates.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 5:38:00 pm
___________________________________________
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
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